Many couples end up needing couple’s therapy at some point in their relationship. Whether it be because of a transitional issue, like work-stress, or a larger discussion, like whether to have kids, having an objective, third-party to talk to can save a marriage from sinking into despair. However, there is one type of couple’s counseling that soars above the rest: The Gottman Method.
Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this method utilizes over 40 years of research conducted by the duo. Utilizing real-life couples, this research helped inform the technique, which is taught to therapists all over the country.
The Gottman method helps couples learn to respect and care for each-other, and to break through conflict in a calm and productive manner. In addition, this treatment helps couples avoid all of the popular pitfalls that too often lead to divorce.
One of the research findings that has been extremely helpful to thousands of clients, is understanding what’s called “The Four Horsemen.” These four behaviors include:
- Criticism – Complaining about your partner
- Contempt – Treating your partner with disrespect; sarcasm, eye-rolling
- Defensiveness – Not taking responsibility for your actions
- Stonewalling – Shutting down and backing away from a conversation
The Gottmans have found that these four behaviors are omnipresent in failing relationships. In fact, the second behavior, contempt, is the single biggest predictor of divorce!
Therefore, therapists who use the Gottman Method are not only able to help couples strive for balanced, healthy relationships, but they are also able to pinpoint behaviors that are known for being poisonous to couples. The combination of these two points, plus the fact that this method is all research based, makes it an extremely effective tool for couples’ counseling.
If you’d like more information how we can help you using The Gottman Method, contact us. We are here to help!