It no longer is difficult for men to go out of their way to find pornography. Today they can get it just about anywhere. It’s available at gas stations, grocery stores, video rental outlets, hotels, the workplace, and even in the home. Those with Internet access merely need a click of the mouse to download sexually graphic images and stories while their wives tuck their children in bed in the next room. In fact, the number of people using pornography on the internet is growing so fast that the Playboy Web site alone averages over 5 million hits a day.
Whether a man is married or single, he is in danger of transmitting the infection of pornography into his current or future marriage. Contrary to what Hollywood or the media would have us believe, sexually explicit material does not enhance sex between a husband and wife. Pornography creates unrealistic demands about the frequency of sex, intimidation, lack of respect and the nature of a woman’s sexual response, to name just a few. The fantasy world of pornography places unrealistic expectations that only end up with feelings of emptiness and resentment. Recognizing what men get out of pornography is vital. It is important to see how they use porn to cope with whatever difficulties they are dealing with.
Those who find themselves sliding down a slippery slope of destruction end up withdrawing from others and from God. They lack faith in the One who suffered the ultimate price to be able to accept them. They lack the hope and vision for the kind of men they could be and what they could accomplish for God. Consequently, it is imperative to help them regain purpose that comes from living for the sake of something greater than oneself. The situation may seem bleak, but the Spirit of God can rebuild faith, renew hope, and awaken a purpose that can replace and put to death an idolatrous demand for pornography. Secondly, Admitting to having an out-of-control sexual struggle is one of the hardest confessions a man may ever make but it is essential for the healing process to begin. An addicted man must acknowledge his pride and the lies he has convinced himself in believing.
Thirdly, he must acknowledge his addiction in the safety and confidentiality of another person (I Thess. 2:11-12). In a day and age where individuality reigns, Satan wants men to hide their struggles so he can get them alone and deceive them with lies such as “the problem is under control” or “you will never change.” But men who start to talk about their struggles with others who can help them change will begin to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.