Emotional or psychological abuse is a term that people use a lot and sometimes the behaviors they are referring to do not qualify as emotional abuse. The term emotional abuse has become commonplace to describe behaviors that people do not like. Emotional abuse is an attempt for one partner to control another using emotion. This can come in many forms and there are things that people may mistake for abuse that are not and vice versa.
What is NOT Considered Emotional Abuse
- Fighting with your partner.
- Yelling at your partner.
- Being honest and blunt with your partner.
- Breaking up with your partner.
- Reacting to something that your partner said.
What IS Considered Emotional Abuse
- Making accusations or blaming your partner for something with no basis for your claim.
- Criticizing everything your partner says or does.
- Calling your partner names or verbally assaulting them in any way.
- Punishing them for something they did that you didn’t like, or threatening to punish them.
- Withholding affection.
- Refusing to communicate with your partner.
- Refusal to accept any personal responsibility for the dysfunctional dynamic of the relationship.
- Gaslighting, or other mind games where the abusive partner refuses to accept any responsibility for their own happiness.
Eventually, when the abused partner figures that their partner has fallen into an abusive pattern, they will point this out and abusive partners behavior will change. The abusive partner will become very apologetic, cook dinner, buy gifts, and do anything to make their partner feel very special. This pattern will bring the abused partner back into the good graces of the abuser and they will begin to trust them again. This will be temporary, and the pattern will begin to repeat itself. Once they have gained some trust back the abusive comments, gaslighting, and criticizing will begin again. It makes the person harder to leave because you have seen that they are capable of providing the love and care that you need.
This pattern can be broken, let us help you and your partner fix your broken dynamic and stop the abuse, contact us today.